today was a good day. :)
in all this hoohah,i forgot what it was like to be happy because of nothing.what it felt like to be sincerely contented to lie back on my perfectly mushed up cushions with my gilmore girls,listen to the rain otuside my window and paint my toenails funny colours.i forgot what it's like to be able to smile at the stupid things you did,and then be even happier because you know it's okay to be stupid sometimes.i forgot what it's like to sit in the wind and know that you'll be safe somehow,and because of that,you lean back and enjoy the gusts and smell the rain that's coming.and what it's like to sit in a room filled with people and look out at the rain with a cup of coffee in hand,and feel completely at peace despite the chaos that's going on.
funny how when we feel like we've lost everything,the tiniest things make us feel like we've gained the world.
i guess the only way to be really truly happy is to be completely honest with oneself,and to do the things that we hold deep in our hearts,and to let go of the things that are out of our control.
i'm really truly happy now.i really don't need anybody to fill any spaces,because i don't think i have room anymore.
to you: i'm sorry if i was too blunt and honest,but that's how i really felt.like i said before,and i'll say it again.please treasure what you have in front of you before it's too late.the grass will always always look greener on the other side,but that's not necessarily how it will be,you'll find out.when you open your eyes and really take a look around,things might not be as complicated or as gray as you see them to be.
lumps,thanks for being there through this period.i'll be here for you too. :) thanks for the slippers and the cheering up and the sitting with me in the wind and the finding of puzzles and the sitting in the cafe and everything.you're my rock.love. :D psst.i'll buy you astroboy stickers. -bigbighugs.
i have cheery toes and nice new stickers. :)
